Thursday, August 10, 2006

What's the F*cking Deal?

Is this some sort of wacky masturbation technique? I'm referring to a man sitting in a chair with his feet on the floor about six inches apart, vigorously flapping his knees back and forth (slapping his thighs together?).

Why in the midst of a business meeting would someone engage in such bizarre behavior? Why did I schedule the meeting in my office where there is no conference table to hide the show? I've noticed a few men doing this over the years out in public but I've never seen a woman perform the seated "funky-chicken."

Men appear to be most comfortable seated with their knees apart. I assume that it is due to a couple of the physical differences between men and women. Therefore, I reason that this action of moving the knees back and forth, quickly and repeatedly, must create some sort of motion, friction, something... marginally pleasurable.

If someone's "package" just needs to be repositioned for comfort purposes, wouldn't it be more effective (and far less distracting) to stand, smooth out one's slacks (not a euphemism) and then sit back down?

I find the behavior very disturbing. In a meeting, it's about as bad as the person standing up and flapping his arms. On the outside chance that my conclusion is flawed, I at least hope that the perpetrators of this behavior will start to worry that others will think that something untoward is going on and stop the enthusiastic public knee-knocking.



Blogger Horny Old Guy said...

"Is this some sort of wacky masturbation technique?" Hmmm...let me try it and I'll get back to you. I've tried every other jerk off technique known to man, animal or machine. Always willing to learn something new though!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Cloudy Serendipity said...

Hi, I found this place while looking at random blogs.

LOL @ "funky chicken" us women just clench ;)

8:50 PM  

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